Guest post: Rape – a mother’s perspective

Rape has been in the news, in the air a lot these past months. Events that previously would have been over-looked and ignored by the mainstream media, are now receiving the full coverage, and righteous anger they deserve. The following post was written by a mother following a particularly shocking case in the US, where many in the media and justice system tried to excuse the behaviour of the rapists.

OOO

Becoming a mother changed a lot of things for me. I am now responsible for the well-being of a most precious being of light and love. Becoming a mother has made me examine everything I do, I say, I believe. In wanting my daughter to experience and to be kind, compassionate and empathetic, I have become more so. I see and experience the world through different eyes and skin now – hers. While I had become immune to, hardened and accepting of many things in life for myself, this is not the case when it comes to her.

Which is why I have been at a complete loss for words for the steady stream of reports of rape from all over the world. But now I have to find the words to name this despair, outrage, and pain.

Every single person that is raped is a human being. Women, men, boys, girls, heterosexual, homosexual, transgendered, and everyone in between. In being raped, each of them become dehumanized, debased, violated, scared, devalued. Each of them is someone’s child.

The prevalence and acceptance of rape is a our failing as humans, as parents, as community and society. Nobody deserves to be violated because of their gender, their race, their economic status, their behavior, the way the dress, their mistakes. No one is entitled to violate another human being. And how did we collectively learn to simply stand by and watch such acts of violence happen in front of our eyes ?

What can I do? I can teach my daughter that she is to be honored and respected by treating her with honor and respect and expecting the same for myself. Fortunately, she will learn that men respect and honor women, because her father does so with his wife, and child. And we treat all those around us with respect and kindness and empathy. It may not be the “real world” but this is the world that I want for us … for us all. And I do believe, each little step makes a difference.

OOO

lavinaLavina Faleiro: mother, wife, yogini, yoga teacher/therapist (pre-/post-natal, kids/family, womb), scientist, dancer; one foot in Bahrain, heart in Ireland; joy in heart, song on lips, smile in eyes; dreams in head; love in fingertips.

Facebook Page: Maharani Yoga Therapy
Website: www.Maharaniyoga.com

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11 thoughts on “Guest post: Rape – a mother’s perspective

  1. Samantha

    This post brought tears to my eyes. I became a mother through rape and it seems sometimes that we are just statistics swept under the carpet

    Reply
    1. admin Post author

      Oh Samantha… words cannot… I offer you my deepest love.You are heard, and seen, and loved. Never, never are you just a statistic.

      Reply
      1. Samantha

        My son is the greatest blessing in my life and he is a child of love despite how he was conceived.
        We live in a world where we disempower women. Where saying no is being frigid and asking for help is seen as being overly dramatic. Society constantly look at why the rape victim was to blame and many show more sympathy for the rapist who has had their ‘lives destroyed by accusations.’
        There is still much that needs to change in this world, but I feel a good first step to help women feel empowered.

    2. jayalakshmi

      Samantha….I dont know what to say….May be others will never understand the depth of pain and injustice we feel……just like we ourselves fail to do so at times….But please know that you are never never a mere statistic…..You are always loved dear, always….and your pain is seen…
      With love and blessings,
      jayalakshmi

      Reply
      1. Samantha

        Thank you ♥
        Many blessings came from the rape. I have beautiful son and I have finally found my voice and I am prepared to speak out for the things I believe in.
        I will not live my life in fear ♥

  2. jayalakshmi

    Thanks for sharing this beautiful article!!
    It is right..the magnitude of violence brought before us in reports from around the “real world” makes us shudder to even think about how ugly our deeds are towards people who are weak, helpless, isolated and not able to stand up for themselves…and even if they do, we retaliate against them in the cruelest possible ways…..what is more shameful is this silence that seems to have captured us….this vast silence that prevents us from reaching out to our fellow beings in pain, that prevents us from speaking up when things go wrong..
    each little step does make a difference…i believe that..well there were times when I did not think so….i thought unless we change everything or bring about significant widespread changes, it will not create much difference….but slowly i begin to realise my own insignificance(as someone pointed out), helplessness….and in accepting them I found out that each one of us, however helpless or hopeless may we be in changing the “real world” out there, have significant power in building, transforming, destroying, rebuilding our own “real worlds’….and after all these real worlds are that add upto the big world…. 🙂

    Reply
      1. jayalakshmi

        🙂 That is exactly how I feel when I read your posts…..You, of many others, give voice to some of my unbroken silences….Thank you for that!!

  3. lavina

    Thanks so much Lucy for giving me the opportunity to share my thoughts and feelings about this topic that has moved me so deeply. I would like to share two links that provide guidance on how to approach the subject of consent and appropriate touch and behaviour with children of all ages. The first is a collaborative effort and provides age-appropriate suggestions:
    http://goodmenproject.com/families/the-healthy-sex-talk-teaching-kids-consent-ages-1-21/

    The second is the perspective of a father about this topic:
    http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/what-happens-when-we-dont-teach-our-boys-about-sex/

    Warmest wishes,
    Lavina

    Reply

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