Despite all of the working through I have done over four and a half years, it was timely really that the release of my e-book on Amazon this week coincided with a close friend’s baby’s arrival.
They had the ‘perfect’ hospital birth…a quick labour, minimal intervention, a placid baby, an easy beginning to breastfeeding.
The day we visited them, she said she would have another baby that evening.
I felt the bitterness rise within me.
How could she even say that?
Why the fuck couldn’t it have been so easy for us first time round?
Another part of me felt I should be ‘over’ the resentment and bitterness and feeling hard done by.
This is despite having a glorious home-birth with my second daughter…a perfect birth in every way.
Having finished the e-book, I (wrongly) assumed I was ‘over’ a lot of my first daughter’s birth.
Maybe I was feeling a little smug.
Just goes to show that these feelings will always be there in some way.
This couple have taught me again the lesson that it is OK to feel these feelings as long as I don’t act them out on others.
This is my stuff, not theirs.
I believe a part of me will always feel robbed of those early precious newborn days when all I wanted was to feel well, not in horrendous pain and emotional turmoil from my daughter’s hospital delivery.
So here it is…..my raw personal story of the arrival of my first daughter. As a mother of two and a psychotherapist in private practice, the book provides a comforting reassurance that your feelings are normal and that you are not alone. I also provide lots of practical guidelines and worksheets in order to help you in embarking on your healing journey and to support you along the way.
Here’s the link to her ebook on Amazon, for just over £4/5euro/$7USD, so that it is as accessible as possible for all women.
Nicola Hogg writes at Empowered Womyn. She is mother to two beautiful little girls and an accredited psychotherapist working in private practice in Co. Limerick, Ireland. Her passion is working with women antenatally & postnatally. She started blogging in 2012 about my experiences of birth and motherhood as a way of supporting other mothers, particularly those who have had a less than satisfactory birth experience.
For private mother-to-mother support/ counselling appointments you can call her on 087-6836922 (phone/Skype appointments available for those living a distance away) or send her an email.
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