A friend said to me the other day: “You know the problem is that women think of men as incompetent women.”

Breathe that in for a second…

How true is that for you?

Any time you get mad at a man in your life, is it because his response was not what you, or your friend/ sister/ mother would do/ say? You are judging him by female standards…

I am reading a fascinating New York Times Bestseller called The Female Brain by Dr Louann Brizendine, founder of the Woman’s Mood and Hormone Clinic at the University of California. It makes fascinating reading. And makes me realise that in the above case, what we put down as callousness/ cold-heartedness/ lack of caring etc. is actually the difference in how our two brains are wired and respond differently.

Some factoids for you from it:

• Men have two and a half times the brain space devoted to sexual drive.
• Women perceive stress such as mounting bills as life threatening and respond accordingly, reacting as though their family has been endangered by impending catastrophe. The male brain will not have the same perception unless the threat is of immediate, physical danger.
• As a foetus female brain circuits for communication, gut feelings, emotional memory and anger suppression grow unabated – whereas they are limited by high testosterone.
• A woman’s neurological reality is not as constant as a man’s. The female brain is so deeply affected by her hormones that their influence can be said to create a woman’s reality.

As with all things there is much to be debated, I’m sure… but next time you think “why does he…? How could he…? Why doesn’t he…?” Consider that he is a he, and his reality, as structured by his male brain and upbringing is different. He is not an incompetent woman. He is a man.

Just like you are not an incompetent man … which is something we’ve been being told for centuries!

In my favourite Thai saying “same-same, but different”.