Category Archives: Reflections

A Point of Balance in the Process of Cosmic Birth

Today is lunar equinox.

A point of balance in the process of cosmic birth. The transition point between the heat of summer and chill of winter. Between our outgoing selves and inward selves.

For me it feels like the point of transition I remember from birth. It can be a place of discomfort. Of relief or terror. It is a point of deep connection, vulnerability, creativity and a place from which we can enter a different stage of consciousness, to make choices about how the next part of the journey will go.

My dearest soul sister is in the middle of her 24 hour performance of her birth journey as I write. Her MA performance piece, she is going back to her birth space, mindfully, reliving and healing, creating a mandala of sand to commemorate her journey. With sound, movement, colour, stillness she is literally dancing birth, drawing birth, living birth. I hold her in my heart.

Tomorrow I am leading a motherblessing at my women’s group for one of our dear members. Where we will hold another woman and her journey to vulnerability and rebirth in our arms and our hearts.

Two of my books are coming into their transition phase – transitioning from private documents in their gestation and creation in my mind and heart and computer screen and starting their journey out into the world of readers.

I find myself in a liminal place. Not wanting to be in the world of busyness and noise and socialising, but called to be here.

Shiloh Sophia McCloud – The Red Key

Shiloh Sophia McCloud, the visionary artist and sacred women’s worker is starting a new course today. It is calling to me – having loved a previous course with her over the summer, I think I will dive in – it promises painting, poetry and women’s connection… (I have no affiliation with her.)

Where are you at, dearest one?

At this point of balance, where do you find yourself? In the midst of these strong energies which are swirling round our planet, catching us all in their spirit of transformation – where are you?

Can you take a moment and breathe? Find a point of balance and just be. Let the world keep turning. Your thoughts keep swirling. What dreams are calling you? What longs to be born? What needs to die?

Breathe and do that!

It is through vulnerability, through conscious rebirth that we find ourselves more clearly and deeply. But crossing the threshold takes courage. Stepping from the lightness into the dark, we are called to have faith – to walk forward in the dance of co-creation even though we cannot see the way.

Go well dear sisters.

 

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Note to Self

I am delighted to share with you my contribution to a very special book which has just been published.

Note to Self : The Secret to Becoming your own Best Friend invites you to discover the beauty and power of self-love, acceptance and becoming your own best friend. Exploring topics such as Healing, Menstruation, Motherhood and Body Image, Note to Self shows you how to embrace who you are and write love letters for your soul. It includes a collection of letters from 30 inspiring women around the world including Tabby Biddle, Jane Harwicke Collings … and me!! Continue reading

A woman in her power

What does a woman in her power look like?

She is a rare creature indeed.

We women are neither taught, nor encouraged to stand in our power in our culture. Or if we do, then it is to stand in a masculine defintion of power – high grades, high powered job, high earning, physical strength…

I know what she doesn’t look like, I experience that often enough – self-doubt, burn out, apologising all the time, self sabotage, negative self talk, playing small. And I see this in so many women around me.

It seems my path to be fortunate enough to talk regularly to women who stand in their power. Whether by email or phone, I am in regular contact with wise women. And for that I am truly blessed, and grateful that my “work” nourishes me so much on every level.

Some of the women whom I have been lucky enough to connect with over the past year are

  • Ina May Gaskin (midwife and best selling author)
  • Lynn Andrews (best selling author and shaman)
  • Susun Weed (wise woman herbalist and author)
  • Pam England (midwife and best selling author of Birthing from Within)
  • Jane Hardwicke Collings (shamanic midwife and celebrant of women’s mysteries)
  • Glennie Kindred (artist and author)
  • Mara Friedman (artist)
  • Lori at Tiny Buddha (writer)
  • Amanda at Kind over Matter (writer and designer)
  • ALisa Starkweather (founder of the Red Tent Temple Movement)

And a few whom I have studied under thanks to the wonder of the internet

  • Leonie Dawson (founder of the Goddess Circle)
  • Shiloh Sophia McCloud (artist)
  • Flora Bowley (artist – Bloom True)

As one who only semi-inhabits her power, but is on the path to fully standing in it, it is a gift and an education of depth beyond words to see how these women who embody mastery and mystery are in the world. What they look like, what they sound like, how they act and speak. And it occurred to me that despite their working in different fields, coming from different backgrounds, being of different ages and callings, there were certain factors that united them.

Inanna

Inanna – sculpture by Phillipa Bowers, available from Starchild.co.uk

A woman in her own power:

  • Glows, she vibrates light and energy
  • Seems bigger, brighter than most other beings
  • Honours her creative urges
  • Knows her limits and her boundaries and defines them clearly but lovingly.
  • Knows her yes and her no, and uses them both the same, with love, without guilt
  • Sets her priorities according to her heart and not others expectations
  • Balances giving and receiving
  • Gives of herself and her knowledge generously
  • Knows how to recharge her energy
  • Lives a full life – full of friends, love, celebration, beauty, joy and magnificence
  • Walks the earth with glory in her heart, drinking in the beauty and magic of it all
  • Knows the dark places, has ventured there and come out with a deeper knowing and appreciation for all of life
  • Is always open to new ideas and gifts from the universe
  • Follows her intuition
  • Owns what she knows and is humble about what she doesn’t
  • Speaks in a clear, unhurried way – knowing that she has space and time to unfold and is under no pressure – unless she is full of enthusiasm – when she just bubbles over
  • Knows she makes mistakes and does not feel the need to hide them, but rather shares them with love as lessons
  • Serves those she loves with a full heart.
  • Opens herself fully to abundance
  • Is youthful in her energy and enthusiasm, yet wise and old in heart and head
  • Makes no apology for her own existence.
  • Knows her own value, and celebrates that with others.
  • Her work is prolific, expressive, deep, life changing, soulful

 

Enter the goddess

The Queen of my Heart – Lucy Pearce

The goddess has entered my life.

After years of reading about her and rejecting “her” as a false replacement for the already rejected male god of my childhood. She was represented in paintings of maidens with flowing hair, in lumpen statues hewn out of rock. I saw them and I did not connect. All I saw was women hungering to see the divine made in their own image. Women yearning for a world filled with light and love and fairy dust. Women trying to boost their self confidence by calling themselves goddesses or deluded women who needed attention and love from somewhere…

And I’m sure that all these facets are out there. But I also know that she is a very real, felt sense of the inner divine: the sensual female snake-like life force. She is found in all of nature, in beauty and love and sensuality wherever they reside. She is sensuality, fluidity, sisterhood, spiralling, circling, juiciness, creativity, roundedness, empowered surrender, adornment, dancing, sexuality, opening…

It seems like, whether by coincidence or design, the routes to the goddess have been scorned, erased, made taboo, illegal or unreachable, by religions and cultures alike. Sensuality, women spending time together, adornment, erotic pleasure, natural birth, the creative arts – all these and many more ways to the goddess have been dammed, blocked, amputated from our culture and our individual lives.We have been taught not to trust our bodies, or other women. We have learnt to be scared of our sexuality, to shy away from sensuality. To limit our creativity.

Yet we have within ourselves the apparatus for experiencing the divine. For co creating with her. We can dance with the goddess, make love embodying her. Breathe her in, feel her sensuality pumping through our veins, to feel her in colors, taste her in visions. Tingle with the experience of knowing that she imbues everything.

None of this seems profound to read back. I have read it many places before. I have known it in my head. But to experience the goddess in everything, to feel the shakti rise in an electrifying full body sensual “awakening” is to KNOW.

It seems so obvious now. As all life transforming realisations are. I share it because I know there are some of you who already have the goddess in your life. Who say, hurray, you’ve “got it”! And there are many others who were me who say goddess mumbo jumbo.

To you I say, I hope, one day, some way, you will find her in yourself.

The Power to Shock!

There is an undeniable power in our menstrual blood.The power to shock.

Perhaps it is truly the last taboo in a seemingly unshockable world.

It is expected that we keep it hidden – we do not talk about it, we do not show it. It is therefore invisible, often even to our intimate partners.

But even those of us who feel pretty liberated, who speak openly of it, can find ourselves shocked…

I have just discovered this website – where artists from around the world make art with, or about, menstrual blood. How does it make YOU feel?

Image credit:”My First Menstruation,” 1999, Ana Elana Pena, Spain.

It is only blood!

If you cut your finger, chances are you would put it straight in your mouth. No fear, no hang ups, no disgust.

But menstrual blood…

Are YOU unshockable?

Speaking for birth

“How can I speak for birth?”

That was my question, back when I first felt called to do birth work. To advocate for birth. Natural birth. Birth as she has always been for millions of years. Generation after generation. Nothing weird or hippy. Nothing worthy. Just the miracle of biology which is birth. Donkeys, goats, dolphins and cats do it: nothing weird there. That’s all I wish for women, is to experience the magic of life, the wonder of birth. But we have been told that birth is dangerous, uncertain, not to be trusted. And that birthing like animals is beneath us. We need to be saved from that.

But the opposite is true. Natural birth gave me back to myself. It was a revelation to me. And it has become a large part of my life’s work. I truly want to help more women share this most fundamental and natural of experiences, because in our medicalised birthing world this is not an inevitability, but a rarity. Continue reading

Embracing the moonlight in my hair

The first thing you would notice about me, after the colourful skirts on my ample hips, the necklace resting on the blossoming bust, and my bright tights, is my hair, which is rapidly turning silver.

I got my first grey hair aged 12, and now, aged 32 I am nearly at the tipping point – the grey is winning the battle!

Me two years ago

I am young to be going grey I know. But I have always been older than my years. My mother always said that when I was born she looked into my eyes and saw an old soul. Many people have said I am wise beyond my years. And now my hair proclaims that fact.

But I notice, that even amongst women 10, 20, 30 years older, I stand out for being my natural colour. For embracing the moonlight in my hair, rather than covering it up with a bottle. And it makes me feel unsure – do people think I am old, or ugly, or embarrassing? Or do they think this about themselves? What is so wrong about women getting older and fleshier and more fully themselves, echoing physically what is happening spiritually? It seems perfectly acceptable for men in our culture… so why not us?

What every woman does to feel good about herself and her body is her choice. But in this culture of ours it often is not a free choice, but one made out of shame, embarrassment and conformity. I remember reading a feature in The Guardian not that long ago on older women in the media – aged between 50 and 75  – and not not of them had a grey hair on their heads.

What I know is that for me, every silver hair is a strand of wisdom, a lesson learned, an experience gained, a shock survived. Each one is a precious part of who I am, so I am not about to cover them up.

Just as I am not going to diet away my voluptuous curves. I am a woman embodied in time and memory. This is my body – each curve, each stretchmark tells a story of love and loss, hard work and heart break, and joy in abundance. Why would I choose to smooth it away and pretend I was still a teenager.

I was a teenager once. And I hated it. Hated my body – which was “perfect”. Where now I know who I am and find great satisfaction in it. Most of the time!

However, I reserve the right, at some point in the future to dye my hair a rainbow – not to cover up, but to shine and embrace my Creative Rainbow Mama in all her glorious colours!